In addition to a little fun, I thought this post might answer some of the sporadic posting I have been doing lately.

This pregnancy I have been a little vague when answering about my due date. I usually start with early June and then only reveal the actual date if pressed. My hope is to avoid the many questions that come when people realize you have reached the 40 week mark. With the first two both delivered at 41 weeks and 5 days, I have become subject to these well-meaning questions twice over.

So here are my top “favorite” questions and the answers that only live in my brain.

1. Feeling any contractions? – Yes, all the time. Thanks for reminding me. If I labeled my uterus with a personality it would be irritable.

2. You’re still pregnant?!?- Well, unless unbeknownst to me the baby slipped out, yes I am very much indeed STILL pregnant. Or - Does one typically hide a basketball under their shirt after they give birth?

3. What does your doctor think? – I dunno. They accidently dropped their crystal ball a few weeks ago and decided not to replace it.

4. When do you think the baby is coming? I dunno, my crystal ball is out of order as well.

5. How are you feeling? – Like I wanted to give birth 6 weeks ago.

6. Are you sleeping at night? Yes, in between the trips to the bathroom, the baby’s nightly dance party, the ache of my hips, and my pillows falling to the floor.

7. Happy due date! – I am sorry, what are we celebrating?

8. Well they are easier to care for on the inside than the outside! – Says who? You try carrying around a bowling ball 24/7 and let me know how that works for you.

Any others I missed?

Perhaps post-delivery I will reveal the gestational age of this pic!